September 13

The world is crashing down on me.

And I don’t know how to help myself.

Stupid things said, stupid questions asked.

I hate it.

I hate all of it.

No direction, no path - take it as it comes.

No control.

Continuous patterns, life shattered.

Over and over again.

This is my life.

Drowning.

No way out. How do I stop this?

Attack, defend, attack, defend. Constant battles.

Crying everyday - nonstop.

What does that accomplish? You always ask me. What are you looking for?

Personality. Self. Identity. Who am I?

Nothing ever good enough. I am never good enough.

There’s always something wrong with me - something I need to change.

Why?

Why can’t I be accepted for who I am?

Does everyone go through this?

Always being questioned about how they work.

This is my life.

Future.

What is my future? Where am I going?

Caught between a rock and a hard place.

I want to move on, grow up.

But everything stops me.

Why can’t I start over?

Why can’t I be eternally happy?

Life. Death. Love. Loss. Who are we?

This is my life.

Struggles every day of my life.

I love you. I hate you. One minute, then the next. Why?

Demons.

They eat me. They make me. They control me. They suffocate me.

Always angry. Always out of control.

How do I stop them?

I want all these things that I can’t attain.Why?

Not working hard enough? Is there something wrong with me?

Always.

There is always something wrong with me.

I hate it. I hate me. I am not happy.

Why?

Always questions. Never any answers.

This is my life.

Circles.

Revolution.

Always ending up where I began.

Progression. Regression.

Pattern.

Stop the pattern.

Make a difference.

Make a change.

Be me.

Acceptance or exclusion?

It remains to be seen.

Life.

This is how my life is.

This is my life.

I’m seeking something that can’t be had.

I’m seeking something that can’t be found.

I’m asking you to fill a void.

A void within me.

Not fair. Don’t do that.

Again.

Always working.

Always seeking.

Ambitious.

Out of control.

Overwhelming.

Moody.

Emotional.

Me.

Take me or leave me.

This is my life.

Honesty.

What is honesty?

What is too much honesty?

Over the boundary.

How do I stop?

How do I get back?

No going back.

That’s what I say, right?

The joke is on me.

This is my life.